An Emotional Journey

 Yesterday was a hang w Y., today was a fight with mom. She is insufferable. As i was sleeping she was, in her Very Sure voice, telling me that theres SOMETHING to it, it CANNOT be just friends. remember how she was with Alena's just friends? Arent you tired.  You cursed her out and you arent talking rn. Good for you. Stand your emotional and mental ground. You got this. I love you.

 Its so hot hot hot in here, dumb asses of the local gov or whatever can't turn off the central heating and im exhausted.  My The Feeling TM is back but much weaker, more toothless. I wish it was even MORE toothless. Fought with mom about how its her fault i am not capable of doing much, that i AM but not when everything is being served to me on a golden plate. I saw that struck the nerve. I saw her reaction. She knows. She got defensive. I - even more offensive. She admitted that much of what she was doing (writing/drawing my homework for example) is bc she was desperately trying to avoid Shame. Fuck her and fuck that. Bye.