An Emotional Journey

 !!! I saw Murzik today!  I was trying to slide/snowboard down a gothic cathedral thing rooftop (spiky!), i did slide down some roof, but not the one i was now standing on, I was thinking It cannot be that impossible RIGHT? And I even imagined doing that. There were ppl around, not too close, in the vicinity. And mom too. And I imagined already getting down there, a man was there, in some sporty/spy uniform, not an enemy, OH WAIT YES AN ENEMY. I was in overwatch! and it was when.. before i didnt slide but did slide. He was a sniper and i was supposed to take him down. I was Zen and i did shoot and was relieved it didnt somehow make a sound. He didnt hear me coming. And i charged, and shot at him but not AT him, i missed the first few, but i hoped i have enough to finish him. Well, dear listener, I did not, and while he didnt react I have decided that I cannot take him down? I dont have the weaponry enough to do it? I know i shouldnt have even attempted it in the first place! A...

 Crab, big, im killing him. im killing hi even with his own pointy leg. Easy.  Ash's head on the crab. I keep trying to kill him. No matter how hard i kick the head Ash crab doesnt die. After a particularly strong kick he becomes silent/non moving, but then starts purring. and i decide to kill him with covering his nostrils. i cant keep him alive fter the damage ive caused its cruel?  And i hear him purring and I start to weep, even tears i think, as i am holding my fingers on his nostrils im so sad, im so remorseful over what i have done, and that i shouldnt have done that, and that i cant stop now no matter how horribly sad it is, it gets, and im holding him in a hug, and im telling him I Love You so much Ash, IM SO SORRY IM SO SO SORRY. And even though i dont necesserily feel that its the truth it IS truth more or less, it becomes one. I want my love to save him, to stop me from hurting him. to stop my past me from hurting him, the crab cat. He isnt dying. He is purrin...