An Emotional Journey

 I am in my grandparents bedroom, the tv on the window is on. It shows a girl, i aa pink dress, strapless (not really),she is talking about something, being interviewed. I realie she looks like a Alena, so I feel like touching myself looking at her (a possibly pathologic type of desire i keep having lately). She is talking about her old cat, she is asked if he purrs, she says "Oh no, he is VERY old", it tugs on my heart strings. I get almost weepy. I back away and sit down on a couch. My dick is in front of me, pretty big, the shape of it is very well defined (like the guy from wikimedia's testicular masturbatio video ive watched yest.). I think about how Alena didnt come when Murzik died, i get myself angry about it, i suddenly feel justified in my anger, and feel love for her go away, but then i stop and it comes back. And it wasnt real, the anger. even tho it was justified.  I think about how I coulndt go to Moscow to save my life but now its easy for me. and how it wo...

 !!! I saw Murzik today!  I was trying to slide/snowboard down a gothic cathedral thing rooftop (spiky!), i did slide down some roof, but not the one i was now standing on, I was thinking It cannot be that impossible RIGHT? And I even imagined doing that. There were ppl around, not too close, in the vicinity. And mom too. And I imagined already getting down there, a man was there, in some sporty/spy uniform, not an enemy, OH WAIT YES AN ENEMY. I was in overwatch! and it was when.. before i didnt slide but did slide. He was a sniper and i was supposed to take him down. I was Zen and i did shoot and was relieved it didnt somehow make a sound. He didnt hear me coming. And i charged, and shot at him but not AT him, i missed the first few, but i hoped i have enough to finish him. Well, dear listener, I did not, and while he didnt react I have decided that I cannot take him down? I dont have the weaponry enough to do it? I know i shouldnt have even attempted it in the first place! A...