An Emotional Journey

 Im back again on the fifth floor (lots of real REAL fast descention down the stairs. im SO GOOD at this now. barely any slowing down in the air. is this a good thing. i feel like it is). Ira and Vasya left for some times, went to relatives, and their apartment is left to us. I go upstairs. Im inside. when i touch something he probably or def touched i feel icky. But unless it s a definite TOUCHED a LOT i dont feel i will wash myself from that. Looking thru the balcony window. Going to the kitchen to look at the old ways the things were on the walls. But they are mostly not that way anymore. They are not there. I wanted to see them  question mark. (I feel that i dont wanna touch anything, walls, but still to go there and look, i ingore the possibilty of touching. AND a little bit of not being allowed? there? or like... not being supposed to be there) (as i do those and other things, after doing most of them, i think OH maybe they have webcameras around. He would oh he WOULD. i...

 music of the dream lotus .... by Hayley Williams (and i will not compare other beauty to mine) start: vasily, he is trying to get inside or keep the door open. my mother just told him no about something. mom pushes the door closed but he still keeps it open, i join her, no wait i join before she pushes that hard. i really try but i realize he is really strong, despite alcoholism and age. I'm to my mom's right now. we are pushing together, but he keeps it open. i feel a bit of a threat. thankfully, yuri from the fifth floor and also from our floor was coming down/opened the door and saw. i was afraid he won't hear the threats of vasily but then that fuck did it again. and he took him.. by the hand? and started talking to him in the middle of our flight of stairs. i think ok HE can kick his ass easy no problem. I'm almost about to hear his life story. I'm at the store, the non-existent now one, where I've met that classmate girls mom. i realize i, we are safe fro...