An Emotional Journey

 drones, alien hall, Ash the cat and a not bad man trying to get into an opening in a game and i help them. it didn't break the rules but they didn't like it much, even tho they were right there, they could have just climbed up from the stick. (like poop from Nightbooks). they are in and we are flying and shooting drones? Cynthia. her perfect body. can't remember the first part. second - godjira, costumed people. the Rock. horrible dirty mothra. i move away each time he moves. first time - after he touches thick cables that have something to do with godjira. godjira was smoothing out his armor, from the ready position to smooth. i touch the cable and while it's nothing special, dirrty wise, i despise, am disgusted by, the oily touch he left on the cable (like the condoms I've used with k, and myself.). i think about washing hands and for now - not using the one I've touched it with.  when he is done with the costume he moves out of his place and i move far from ...

 i enter a radio place and ask, shyly if i could be a host or work here (i mean work  not be a host). Young women. old man, who has worked here for 4 decades. he touches my face.. in a gentle manner, but creepy too. bc he didnt ask permission, and i blame myself for not saying Stop. or not pushing his hand away. or hitting him. they accept my offer and i will need to show them what i can do, create some content, research, write.  before that i enter a room, like an interrogation room but good. interview room? and there is a woman and a man, guy that works with her. i look at her, then at him and spew "my god you are so fucking beautiful.....!" with a gasp. i realize that might be gay, but I'm not, and saying it once, especially when it's so glaringly obvious that he is a miraculously beautiful man (i feel warmth when i say that to him. he smiles. i feel that i can do it with him. he is one of the men who can have me. but is it safe? (this thought is just now probably)...