why cats

 Crab, big, im killing him. im killing hi even with his own pointy leg. Easy. 
Ash's head on the crab. I keep trying to kill him. No matter how hard i kick the head Ash crab doesnt die. After a particularly strong kick he becomes silent/non moving, but then starts purring. and i decide to kill him with covering his nostrils. i cant keep him alive fter the damage ive caused its cruel? 
And i hear him purring and I start to weep, even tears i think, as i am holding my fingers on his nostrils im so sad, im so remorseful over what i have done, and that i shouldnt have done that, and that i cant stop now no matter how horribly sad it is, it gets, and im holding him in a hug, and im telling him I Love You so much Ash, IM SO SORRY IM SO SO SORRY. And even though i dont necesserily feel that its the truth it IS truth more or less, it becomes one. I want my love to save him, to stop me from hurting him. to stop my past me from hurting him, the crab cat. He isnt dying. He is purring. Even though his head is hanged low. and is kinda.. turtle-like moved inside a little

Im so so sorry i love you please dont suffer

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