Bad day, bad couple of days, bad days

 I feel like a whisper of myself that i dont even like to hear, dont want to know, that doesnt.. even sound.
An angry, numb, reactive, hurt, unsure. Not present.
GODS im tired of it. That is, i think i am, its hard to feel even that. 

I am alright when I lie on my bed. When I peer at my screen. When I play games. I think I need to do something, it makes me panic instantly. So I forget*

I wish I could be something better than this. 

*And wasnt it just like that when you were forgetting your homework tasks? Huh, kid?

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