Dream Remembered, Dream Forgotten. Dream Remembered.

 I go down to the first floor of school, i think its night time or evening. it always is. 
Its the PE part of it, Alena's and Mine. Its different now. 
There are people there, I feel like going to the PE class to exercise. It is a pretty sudden feeling that I CAN now do it. I am capable. Wait no this is a bit later. But the feeling that I wanna go there is now.
I go past the ppl. Its dark and blue. Like in that dream. OR NOT A DREAM it wasnt a dream, i was alone with the boys in that hallway when the lights went out or they turned them on and they were saying Tishina Drug Molodezhi. Dark Blue.
I see the door to the gym, its where the art class is irl. And there are people too. And THEN i think I will just walk past them and (if they are not my former classmates) do some pullups, bc i probably can do that and its a respectable thing to do actually and its gonna be alright. Maybe even if they ARE my classmates.
Then i am close to the open door and there are only guys, from my class but not only. Sidorov is in the center, on the benches, like, those american style. Its a gang-like thing? He is speaking, he is very charismatic and masculine. It makes me Feel somethings. He says Softwap.  And looks at his guys, like that is something very meaningful. Softwap, he repeats, with feeling. With the ✊ feeling, veins on his neck and chest. Softwap. He looks at me. Or maybe not. Maybe he is ending his speech and goes out. I mean will go out of the gym. Dark Blue-Grey. I thinkfeel that if i was to be like that... I could. Softwap, and look up with meaning. 
I decide i wont go inside. This is more than I bargained for, more than what I promised myself to withstand. This is too much, this is too serious, these guys are not what I can handle (the attention of). I dont go.