Running the Gauntlet UwU

 I am in my room, but not -  a class? There are several tall men, taller than me, stronger than me. They say if I dont ********** then they will ask the masculine guy (they alll are) (+some asociation with Vladik)to ******** me up. I inquire about Masculinity of the guy, and they say something about his femininity, as a (not unkind) joke, or like Dont ask about his femininity however, and I do. I kinda just say Femininity. To establish that he has one and that i think he does.
They say they leave me for [some time] and when they come back I wll have a choice - to be beaten up [every break during 6 lesson day, so 6 times] or [something].
As I am left alone I consider going with the nice option, and imagine them putting their fists on me, on my ribs, face, the pain. And I realize I dont necessarily want that but I maybe need it, for transformation, that this is how i CAN go, be, that I WILL survive this, it wont kill me and theres no reason to choose the other, nicer option, they can beat me up, i will ALLOW it.
I think it is Life Events.

Also today was a Wonderful Day. I was at the garage! Got REAL tired, in a good way.
<3

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