school bag, wrong school bag, door not fully closing, Dmitry, talking shit about him, chocolate, 

three cats, Murzik 2.0, 

abuser, 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pls God, make it so this isnt a prophetic dream about Kate's kid. PLEASE LORD make it so it doesn't ever exist.

My room is flooded. The water from the outside flood is flowing through balcony door into my room. I was away for a while and it is going on. Was I in prison? (look below) Im thinking about pumping it all outside, but this would do nothing, as the flood would just pour back in. And buckets wont help either, its even less effective. I am feeling helpess and weak, and powerless (not the word. its like Frustrated+Powerless?). Then i see a big branch from the tree (of life), just lying here on the carpet/floor. It was here before (it wasnt or i couldnt see it), I thinkfeelimagine cutting it in a way that will make it placeable in the doorframe of baclony, acting as a sandbag, a dam. Saving me. from floodwater.  And I have a handsaw in my hand, with red handle. I start sawing, my thoughts say "Its an all-purpose saw, its best for [metal,aluminum,wood,concrete], but can be used also on [wood? this wood?]", and as they do Im thinkfeeling how good of a purchase that was. (Also this i...
Read more

Kid Dream Good Dream

 When i was looking at this infant i was filled with such joy. Its not mine but im happy to see him. or her! its her right? i didnt notice anything hanging when they were out of sheets. So probs a boy.  So the begining of the dream, a square between roads, rain, snow melting, sludge, dirt. Car stop, oldish man in it, with a baby on the back seat. he get out, NO yes he does and he chucks the water out car, like boat, in my direction, hitting me with splashes/big drops every time, im upset, and a bit mad, but not doing anything but voicing my displeasure. Another man gets hit too i guess, and others, but this man goes to him to fight, what i was thinking, and he gets up to curb, he stops, water cant pass. I go, when man out car, not child. Child now in my magnit bag, ive put food with baby. I care for baby for now. He stole baby from parents. They will get baby but for now i care. I realize put frozen meat and vegs on baby. I think dead. I make peace with dead baby, i lost anima...
Read more

Awful awful?

 So, this probably awful thing has happened, a vet touched me. Yes just my arm and shoulder. Yes it MAYBE OK, it maybe benign an a misunderstanding. god i hope so. But it felt so not benign. like the moment he touched, the moment he sat down A BIT TOO CLOSE even, i knew its not benign. After vasya touched me w his dick its on sight (on touch lol).  I dont know what a normal person would do in this situation. Should I care? I am not one, and I cant act like one, not without detriment. OK. So i probs wont text the vet i like and ask has she left bc of him. Good idea but idk i dont feel it. Just will try to keep Einy's eyes safe. No visits please I beg. The awful thing is ive started, JUST A BIT, hating Einy. Bc I wouldnt be in that situatiash w o  him. I feel awful for it, but its there, the feeling. And its kinda like when Alena said shes married. I felt that Einy and me are done. NOt entirely, and i wasnt sure. But it felt like what was keeping me and him as father and so...
Read more