i go own into a pool where an anima, a wild animal lives, a bear.
pppl tell me to get out, but i think im sure i can handle him.
he starts biting me. gentle at first. i am feeling able to control the situation. tben harder and more agressive, the first time was almost gentle. then even harder and he holds. i start panicking JUST A LITTLE. but still believe i can get out easily, i can reason. then the final time it feels that he DOES mean business and wants to eat me. doesnt want to just play and be friends, wants me to die here. im looking for the exit stairs from the pool (of white-murky water), hoping he wont be able to follow. I just need for him to let me go.
I think i escape.
I do feel stupid, and not, for trying it.
is this about the k-abuser?
Awful awful?
So, this probably awful thing has happened, a vet touched me. Yes just my arm and shoulder. Yes it MAYBE OK, it maybe benign an a misunderstanding. god i hope so. But it felt so not benign. like the moment he touched, the moment he sat down A BIT TOO CLOSE even, i knew its not benign. After vasya touched me w his dick its on sight (on touch lol). I dont know what a normal person would do in this situation. Should I care? I am not one, and I cant act like one, not without detriment. OK. So i probs wont text the vet i like and ask has she left bc of him. Good idea but idk i dont feel it. Just will try to keep Einy's eyes safe. No visits please I beg. The awful thing is ive started, JUST A BIT, hating Einy. Bc I wouldnt be in that situatiash w o him. I feel awful for it, but its there, the feeling. And its kinda like when Alena said shes married. I felt that Einy and me are done. NOt entirely, and i wasnt sure. But it felt like what was keeping me and him as father and so...
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