balcony
Im climbing off the balcony AGAIN, but these times its easier. its.. softer to the emotions, its nice. It is in a far worse state than ever before,plants are growing in it, on it, the joints (quoate unquoate) are far off the walls, and i feel light anxiety about it, but also I DONT GO OUT ON THE BALCONY AT ALL ANYMORE SO ITS ALRIGHT AND I SHOULDNT WORRY TOO MUCH, IT CAN HANDLE THE CATS, (this feels important. WHAT is Going out on the Balcony?). Suddenly there is a gift, a mecha legs, that now stand on the right half of the baclony (left from where i look at it, where i stand), and i realize i can attach them to the bottom of the balc, (i ve been thinking about columns or some such earlier in a dream, to keep the balc up, to keep it safe. but was worried about ppl being able to climb up on them, but also it felt not too srs. ive had some other idea like that too). and it can walk, of course the other half will remain in its delapidated state but it wont be too bad, bc this will take off some of the weight, (and there seemed to be a lot of weight for such a frail-now construction! reminds me of K's balcony, long and with stuff on it. this is important probs). and so it can survive it can avoid falling. And the mecha part can be free! and it will be in a good shape.
Sandy is here, thinner, K-looking maybe? but its her, and i decide to give mecha legs (plus balc?) as a gift to her. I think she was glad. It feels happy, this moment. the mecha, Sandy, new life for the balcony, her being kinda a relative, the hope, the optimism, the new togetherness
When i decide for some reason to jump off the balc again, I start worryingly, i can hardly imagine myself doing something like that, even tho i did it many times before AND in this dream. I feel that if i start i can do it. And i do start, and the further i go the easier it gets, i feel energy, the power to do it, the ease, the effortlessness, as i move to the corner, ready to go down. The balc is much MUCH lower now, the front part is basically 25 cms from earth. something about neighbours being not happy about it probs. I feel this will make my jump much easier.
As i do, i land easy, not unnoticably for myself but very easy and safely. The distance changes a lil from time to time. and when im down its a bit higher. and not.
rancid tap water+attacker
i am removing the pipes from the faucet in the kitchen (not our real one), the water goes from the faucet pipes, sharp pointy edges of metal pipes, but not evil. the ppl here are invaders? attackers, and i get my hand under the pipe and collect water (in what? hand? glass? the glass yes), and offer them, but i dont think they hear or even see, and are even here. and i taste it myself. AH! metal-rancid! good thing i didnt give them. Because of the shock i immediately swallow it, and think about why i did, probably bc of the surpise? i didnt expect it to taste THAT bad. or bad at all.
now i worry about bacteria that will grow inside my tummy, and think about drinking vodka. (bc of K i dont want to drink it, or any alcohol), or maybe just wine. its not that strong but its alcohol, and those shipwrecked sailors in Poe's tale drank it, to avoid poisoning (thats not true tho lol. i THINK?). But i come back in my thouhgts to vodka. a few sips is enough to kill everything in my stomach. a man i trust stands near me, i face him, but not directly. Good thing they didnt drink it, phew
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