Pig Dog and jeaned abuser and Trees

me and my abuser sit down on a couch, we are wearing the same jean costume. i tell him something along the lines of "even tho u are not as bad as ****** it's still ********". he is more wholesome now. he is no longer a threat, at least not to the former extend.

this is something about k's dad and k's abuser. we are wearing her dad's jean suits.

i am bringing back the pig.

ok so the pig is hungry. i desire to feed him or her. it's a cold day, gloomy. i realize i can. i pour the food into the troath(or whatever u can the long feeding thing). i worry that he will eat the hairs, the sand particles and stuff. he is eating and I'm still worrying. 

he is almost done with it and i desire to refill it, but he is still eating. i notice it's almost no food, just water. he is still eating drinking it regardless. (there was this water with food there before. i didn't add any. i did nothing)(but maybe that's enough). i don't give more food as i exit the place. 

i take the pig dog to the barn. it has no ppl inside, no other animals. it's pretty windy (an image of big room balcony flashes as im writing this). dog enters. it's Willie. almost. he was fed (supposed to be fed this time?) with pig fat, salted. 

he enters and lies down on his seno place. it's not where he lies before. i was worrying about wind before. but it seems to not affect him. 

as he lies down i come to pet him. like on cue, like that's something that we do. like he is Einy. i sit/stand on my knee. and i keep gently, firmly stroke (ew, the word! lol) his fur. it's not black, it's boar colored, light. 

i opened all the pig fat and artificial pig fat packets my mom dala s soboi. i desired to give real fat to him, food! now I'm gonna give artificial. i didn't know it is artificial like That. i open the bags and each artificial fat is a circle, a band, white, too white, with a grid texture like a rough fabric. as i do the narrator voice or whatever is speaking on how it's capable of taking in much more salt, other spices, than real fat. i think, that's gonna be bad for the dog. i feel affection for the dog, in general. 

i think about how he used to chill in a cat carrier. the old one? i think? he didn't fit really but it was ok. and how maybe i should give it to him now. bc where he lies now there's barely any protection from the wind, it's not cozy. i feel bad for him, i desire to protect and give him comfort. he would never ask, and resort, silently uncomfortably, a bit miserable, to lying here, where it's not safe for him. (u know how things like that make me feel, my cat kinda feeling)

but i decide against it.

i keep opening the packets, and with each one i keep realizing that these seem to be some industrial things. why are they even rings? they aren't designed to be food? but it's ok to feed them to a dog? i guess. there's real fat still lying there. these are just not flavorful. i don't think the first one was a ring. was the dog eating the fat dissolved or whatever in that water? oh and i put it all on the servant cupboard, on the right.

we are in a forest of impossibly tall (possibly!) trees. like that episode of dr who, spyfall. yunna is here and she is on my side. i tell them about how i desire (I'm showing off of course) to climb the tree! to maybe jump off it. worrying from the people. mom is here. Yunna calms them down. but this is slightly about suicide? 

also i know how hard it is to climb that high, how dangerous if i won't have enough energy. how hard to climb back down.