EW EW ew

 I masturbate a woman in a subway car, she is unemotional, so am i, even if i try to make her cum. a man is a cab i thouht-hoped was empty. he approaches us and asks to join, i am trying to postpoen his joining, or like his touching her, i dont wanna be close to him, im like Just a minute just a second man wait a second. and he doesnt come close, but suddenly he say While I wait Ill take a leak. and he does, CLOSE TO US and its like in those two dreams, but irl!! (in a dream i didt know its a dream), I am like NO!!! I am trying to pass him by real fast, so little of his additional urine touches me, he is further from me than he was before, he is coming close FAST, with his STRONG mustardy-yellow-brown stream, he aims at me, he laffs, he enjoys it, he doesnt let me pass unscathed. even after i pass him his aim finds me, and i am .. whats despnondent and panicking? together? i forgot the word. VERY disturbed and emtioanl. together.
I leave the woman behind (oh btw his dick.. is more like a bean, he flicks its. i dont see it i just know. and he has his hand in his pants after introducing himself) and i feel slightly bad about it, but she is unperturbed. still it feels wrong.
a man is shocked and panicking too in the same cabin, after the man passes him with urine stream.
We escape to the subway from the car. a long stairs ahead, ppl are hurrying, i think its all bc of him. they know and they dont wanna be a part of his fun. I start running, but pretty soon feel exhaustion, then it brings me to grab the railing, trying to pull myself with my hands, i know it is more exhausing than a real walk, but i just CANT (remember when we were overusing phen and the dreams were like this but different?), i am on my knees crawling, pulling myself mostly by hand. In my mind i make a threshold i need to cross and then everything will be ok. as i get close to it i also get more exhausted, paralysingly.
I am THIS close, and i can feel giving up, but i am already about to cross it, partially, then my legs cross it, then feet (dont see it), i think i have crossed it! i am byond the threshold! i am safe! ? and i keep crawling. i wake up.

another dream, corridor, ppl are painting the walls of it white. "finally" i think. i was exoecting them to, bc of my thoughts about it happening. I look at the kitten box and they are there. I am about to go down to look. but a voice-feeling that has my mom's voice feeling to it, powerful and sharp and weak, makes me feel that its a violation of ..... bc they are there and they ahve looked at it, so now i cant inspect it. bc it violates ..... . still i make myself go. they dont react badly, if at all, despite the panic inducing voice-feeling. 
its all jumbled and the box is broken.  the kitten is safe however.
I go up the stairs and theres an area by the stairs, by our apartment. and its where the kitten is i think.
something something
then i accidentally spill a bag of dust and the water flows downstairs to the worker guys and im like Oh Sorry! i expect a backlash, but they barely react negatively. he just looks down and inspects. i dont think he cares. I keep doing something with the kitten. neighbours are there btw and so is mom.